"'I know what you're thinking, punk,' hissed Wordy Harry to his new editor, 'you're thinking, "Did he use six superfluous adjectives or only five?" and to tell the truth, I forgot myself in all this excitement; but being as this is English, the most powerful language in the world, whose subtle nuances will blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel loquacious?" well do you, punk?'" Stuart Vasepuru's opening sentence was the runner-up in the annual 2006 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
, an international literary parody competition.
Mr David Chuter, aged 47, who earned a doctorate in English literature "long ago and far away," said winning the top prize yesterday in the 18th annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
has brought him "unexpected telephone calls" from reporters and a "degree of notoriety." He said he wrote the winning entry in "a moment of total insanity" one night when he was bored.